Dear Fuss don't Fuss

Dear Friends,

I know it's been forever since I've blogged, it's still a journey for me to learn to be great at consistency. So I thought today I want to share something with you.

This morning while reading my daily intake of Dear Prudence,(an advice column) I came along a link also an advice column called “Ask Jane on Elle”. The link got my attention because it was about a twenty seven year old woman who was "frustrated" about being a virgin at her age and also has not yet kissed a guy. She mentioned that she was a bit chunky (not that it really matters) beautiful and smart and has always focused on school and never worried about having a boyfriend. She continues to say that she has not have had many opportunities to meet man and she was afraid that she would die a virgin.

Anyway as I read this I felt sympathetic towards the young woman, however I wish she was one of my friends who had come to me to talk about her touchy problem:) . Instead she wrote to an advice columni. It would have been ok if I agreed with the columnist but in this case I was dismayed to say the least.

The columnist "advised" her to go meet 27 guys she thought were attractive and ask them to take pictures with her sign their names on the PDF file version, to prove that they like her and had agreed to go on a date with her. The columnist continued to "advice" her that if she approved of the guys in her photos she would pay for them to go on a free date and if  our beloved 27 year old virgin liked her date, she would then get rid of her frustration about her virginity.

I was shocked I thought to myself how about at least encouraging her to not fuss and assure her that she has so much she can look forward to in life. It made me feel as if this column was suggesting that virginity is an unwanted burden and that she should get rid of it like unwanted extra pounds just so she can wear a bikini on her next Caribbean vacation. Anyway, normally I don’t comment on columns but I felt that if anyone out there feels like their virginity is a burden they need to be reminded that it's actually a treasured responsibility, no matter the strength of our ragging hormones we can overcome.

I must be honest, there've been times I've been asked questions like am I dating anyone or how old I was when I had my first kiss and I’ve felt a tad bit embarrassed to say no I haven't been kissed yet . When I was in high school I was so proud of it but I remember when I turned 26 I became a bit embarrassed ha-ha , the lies in my head made me think oh no if I told them the truth they would think I'm unwanted or I have a deep dark secret or “baggage”.

The beautiful thing, I never felt as if God was angry with me, instead I confessed my feelings to him, He assured me that he values the choices that I've made and will continue to honor me for all those chances I chose not to make out with any guy no matter how seemingly genuine they were. I felt him remind me that there's no need to sometimes feel embarrassed when people ask and that I'm beautiful and I'm on the right track and there's no need for me to take matters into my hands.

So in all I do understand my beloved writer and her fussing. So I decided to upload my comment and I think I did my best not to sound like a Bible commentary filled with judgment, but I wanted to sound graceful just the way God is to me when I need it the most.

Whatever you're  virginity status is, :) just know that God is a God of Grace and His son Jesus loves you and will not judge you. Come just the way you are. You’re a woman of Worth.

Here’s my comment.



Dear 27 year old virgin, I used to fuss about that too and I'm a year older than you and still a virgin and haven't kissed a guy. To be honest I meet plenty of men and I think of myself as beautiful and an intelligent woman. But after knowing women and girls who have lost their virginity in very sad and abusive ways, I learned that I should not be frustrated but instead be more thankful that I'm still a virgin. Don’t let your virginity define your self worth, but let it be something you treasure till you meet the right man who will treasure who you are. Please don’t loose your virginity instead, wait for the time to GIVE it away at the right time. We live in a world where so many women have lost it in very unfortunate ways. Virginity was never meant to be lost, but to be given away as a treasured gift. And yes great things come to those who wait. Kisses.